What is wrong with us?

Why do we reward those who do not try?

Why do we make things easier for those who should be trying harder?

Why do we pretend to understand things we do not?

Why do we push thoughts and ideas onto other people?

Why do we not give others the chance to choose?

Why do we see the worst in others before the best?

Why do we waste our existence on the trivial?

Why do we attempt to define our existence?

Why do we claim importance?

Why do we explore space before we understand everything here?

Why do we ignore sorrow, sadness and suffering?

What is wrong with us?

Why doesn't anyone see that rewards won't help but do the opposite?

Why doesn't anyone see that we won't help anyone by not making anyone try harder?

Why doesn't anyone see that not knowing everything is better than knowing it all?

Why doesn't anyone see that anyone is intelligent enough to come up with their own ideas?

Why doesn't anyone see that being able to choose is the definition of freedom?

Why doesn't anyone see the best in people before the worst?

Why doesn't anyone see that we shouldn't waste away our existence?

Why doesn't anyone see that our existence is undefinable?

Why doesn't anyone see that we aren't as important as we would like to think?

Why doesn't anyone see that we need to understand where we come from before we can understand anything else?

Why doesn't anyone see the sorrow, sadness and suffering of others?

What is wrong with us?

The only way we can reward those who don't try is by giving them something to try at. Without that something they will never try and never amount to anything.

The only way we can help anyone is to make them work harder, so that they can learn from their mistakes, rise to the occasion, overcome their challenges, accomplish their goals, and realise their dreams.

The only way we can enjoy life is by living, and the main purpose of living is to learn. Not understand everything is a gift. "Ignorance is bliss" is a colloquialism for a reason. The joy in learning something new, in coming to understand something that was previously out of reach is something that should be valued, not feared. The day that humanity understands everything is the day that humanity shall die.

The only way we can allow anyone to grow is to provide them with the space to grow in. It isn't growing if all they do is repeat the mantra or gospels that they are provided with? By not allowing people to invent their own ideas and push the boundaries of their imagination we are restricting their growth, and in turn restricting the growth of humanity.

The only way we can be truly free is to be able to choose to be. How can we be presented with such a choice if our ability to choose anything is restricted or removed entirely? Humanity requires choice to grow. Without choice, we are just slaves to our instincts.

The only way we can see the best in anyone is to first see the worst in ourselves. We are incapable of seeing the best in others because we are afraid that someone may be better at something than us. To be able to see the best before the worst in others is the equivalent of relinquishing our fears of inadequacy within ourselves.

The only way we can not waste our existence is to enjoy every moment, live each day to the fullest and never regret your mistakes.

The only way we can define our existence is by defining it as undefinable. The purpose of our existence is unclear, the reason we are here is undecided. Yet we are all here, and must make our existence mean something.

The only way we can claim importance is by being the first to admit how humble we truly are.

The only way we can understand anything not part of this planet is to first understand everything on this planet. Without that prior knowledge, despite all other knowledge, we remain ignorant of ourselves.

The only way we can see anyone else's sorrow, sadness and suffering is to stop ignoring the needs of everyone else and to address the issues within ourselves first.

Perspective

Perspective. It is one of the hardest things in this reality to perceive and harder still to understand. Perspective is individual. This means that it changes for everyone, yet again making it even more difficult to define and question as it is never the same twice. Perspective is unique.

However, the only purpose that perspective serves is to grant us an illusion of orientation. To allows us to believe that we have a direction in life, to allow us to see the difference between right and wrong, good and evil and light and dark. Consequently, perspective is the only way we can define what is right or wrong and, likewise, the way we define right and wrong is also unique.

The concept of good and evil in itself is flawed. An evil man will never think of himself as evil, he would have convinced himself, that from his perspective, the evils he is committing are just and right, despite that the rest of the world labels him as evil. It comes down to perspective. The way in how we view the world, the way in how we interpret information and how we perceive our actions.

As human beings we required definition and direction. It creates an illusion of success and development. We create labels, such as intelligence, ignorance, kindness, morality, immorality, amongst other things, to make it easier to adhere to utilise perspective. These labels force us to make judgements and assumptions about things we don't understand, people we don't know and knowledge we can't grasp. We force the labels upon ourselves and others in the vain hope that they grant us direction and purpose. When, in reality, they are just an illusion.

We create illusions to distract us from the harsh reality. We make up new words to make ourselves seem smarter and in control. We destroy the planet we inhabit in order to make ourselves more comfortable. We look to the skies and mumble half-remembered phrases in the hope that it fixes things.

Our perspectives do not allow us to see what we really are. They only show us the illusion of progress and orientation. These illusions serve no purpose other than what we allow them to.

Perspective. It's just an illusion.

All I Want

The good life is what I need
Too many people stepping over me
The only thing that's been on my mind
Is the one thing I need before I die

All I want is a little of the good life
All I need is to have a good time, oh, the good life
All I want is a little of the good life
All I need is to have a good time, oh, the good life
The good life

I don't really know who I am
It's time for me to take a stand
I need a change and I need it fast
I know that any day could be the last

All I want is a little of the good life
All I need is to have a good time, oh, the good life
All I want is a little of the good life
All I need is to have a good time, oh, the good life

Hold on, hold on, I always wanted it this way
(I never wanted it this way)
Hold on, hold on, I always wanted it this way
(We didn't ask for it this way)
I always wanted it this way

The good life
All I want is a little of the good life
All I need is to have a good time, oh, the good life
All I want is a little of the good life
All I need is to have a good time, oh, the good life
The good life

I am but a mortal

I don't need to show,

what can't be seen.

I don't need to show,

what can't be felt.

I don't need to show,

what I can't share.

This deadly foe,

my mind the scene.

This deadly foe,

no justice dealt.

The deadly foe,

with not a prayer.

My mind the subject,

always in despair.

My heart the project,

in need of repair.

My eyes the portal,

always skyward.

I am but a mortal,

My life but a reward.

Broken Dreams

The silhouette of a broken dream,
unseen by all but one,
He knows what we could've been,
he knows that we haven't won.

The whisper of a forgotten regime,
unheard by all but one,
He knows about our scheme,
he knows what we had done.

The touch of a distant past,
unfelt by all but one,
He knows that it was our last,
he knows that we still run.

The taste of a silent soul,
untasted by all but one,
He knows what we stole,
He knows its already begun.

The whiff of a new day,
unsmelt by all but one,
He knows we see the decay,
he knows it can't be undone.

He is known by many names,
heard by all but one,
He doesn't see your claims,
He can't remember what he's done.

He has a place in history,
but no one knows his story.
He can listen, smell, taste, touch and see
He was a man but nobody agrees.

Close Your Eyes

Closing my eyes now,

The final breath already exhaled,

As the curtains close i take my final bow,

Only now do i wonder if i failed.

The light appears heavenward,

And the darkness down below,

I float towards my only reward,

Redemption for crimes committed long ago.

If I go down far enough, I wonder,

Would I end up back on top?

Soon i'll be thrown under,

from the cliff I once stood atop

Wading through the sea's of despair,

I emerge to face the demon himself,

Floating on his throne of souls unaware,

I looked him in the eye and saw myself.

The mirror exploded with a burst of fire,

Seven sins committed by the horseman four,

The glass refracted the face of the liar,

I realised I couldn't take it anymore.

How to commit when I was already dead,

I swam and swam until I found the shore,

Then I turned and saw how far I had fled,

Without hesitation I dived through the door.

Back on the cross was I,

Condemned for crimes I didn't commit,

The demon laughed as lighting lit the sky,

Soon I too began to see his wit.

To die again and again,

As the saviour did,

A pawn in the game that has no name,

Revenge for what the gods have hid.

So this is what hell is, I mused,

The demon left me to find my peace,

Battered, bruised and confused

Quietly my existence began to cease.

Closing my eyes now,

The final breath already exhaled,

As the curtains close i take my final bow,

Only now do i wonder if i failed.

A feeling of deja vu seen from a distance,

The remains of the demons wit reappear,

Surely I had led a different existence,

Free from all of this fear.

Silent Song

The silent music that I can hear,

it whispers into this unknowing ear.

Twisting and deceiving my thoughts,

making me feel different and distraught.

This music that plays,

constant and out of sight,

wraps around my mind in unsound ways,

throughout all of the unheard night.

The notes echo in my head

so fast and confused its hard to keep track.

The noises are screaming at me to mislead,

I just want to have my life back.

The songs suddenly comes to an end,

though another is already being composed.

I can't think nor comprehend,

for my eyes have finally closed.

Dream On

Every time I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It goes by, like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

Yeah, I know nobody knows
where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life
is in books' written pages
Lived and learned from fools and
from sages
You know it's true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away

Yeah, sing with me, sing for the year
sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dreams come true
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dream comes through
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream On Dream On
Dream On Dream On

Sing with me, sing for the year
sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away
Sing with me, sing for the year
sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away......

Individualism? Haha good one.

Power to the unseen

An angel with purified wings

Pushed from the highest height

And with beautiful voice sings

That no more shall man fight

An angel with blackened wings

Soars up from the darkest abyss

And with fearful voice sings

That no more shall man live in bliss

A man with no wings

Walks daringly in between

And with a simple voice sings

That no more shall man give power to the unseen

The Mask

The mask of naivety

Falls from the face

Revealing the shadow

That lies waiting underneath

The true face of human nature

Unveiled in the presence

Of pressure and force

Only to take over completely

A force created by nature

Usurped by the gods

Destroyed by man

Redesigned by the mind

To crush all hope

To destroy all thats good

To confuse everything

And to reveal everything

For once the mask has fallen

Shall the true face be unveiled

A force of nature, created for one purpose

To reveal the shadow that lies underneath

Waiting for its chance

Waiting for a mistake

Waiting to take over

I close my eyes.

I close my eyes.

There is nothing.

No light.

No good.

No hope.

A pulling sensation,

Familiar yet foreign,

Erupts in my spine.

I think...

The feeling of emptiness,

Engulfs the willing spirit.

The thought of understanding,

Defies the voice of reason.

I open my eyes.

There is everything.

There is light.

Yet no good nor any hope.

And this feeling of emptiness,

These thoughts of defiant understanding,

Close in around me.

Clenching my heart.

Something stirs inside me.

It is not hope.

And it is not light.

So is the feeling inside me,

Is this feeling darkness?

Or is it evil?

Maybe I'm lost,

Who would know these days?

Definitely not me.

Illusion

Strength. The illusion of power and might greater than the person you compare yourself to. The illusion of power and might that confuses yourself and forces others to fear both for you and you yourself.

Confusion. The illusion of thoughts and emotions that whirl around inside your head forcing yourself into a state of inner fear and forcing yourself to throw your illusions of strength into question.

Fear. The illusion of being confused whilst simultaneously comprehending that everyone around you possesses a more heightened and refined illusion of strength than you do.

Normality. The illusion whereby the world as it truly is and the world as you want it to be briefly coincide with each other and become one and the same, albeit if only for a short space of time.

Understanding. The truth achieved once the comprehension of the fact that all of the above are illusions and that understanding can only be achieved by the acknowledgement of the aforementioned illusions.

Illusions. The inability to see the world as it truly is because of being both obsessed and hindered by your view of the world and with how you want the world to be, rather than how it is.

Sleeping within the womb of darkness,

Born into the world of light.

Born through an act of evil and sin,

Sleeping as an innocent child.

Sleeping throughout the time of pain,

Born again through acts of kindness.

Born to overthrow the power of darkness,

Sleeping you succumb to the power of light.

Condemned to forever live in the state of death,

Condemned to forever die in the state of life.

Condemned to sacrifice yourself to destroy darkness.

Condemned to reemerge as the rebuilder of light.

When your dreams become your life, is that death?

When you life becomes your dreams, is that life?

What is hope?

What is despair?

What is the meaning of life?

What is the meaning of death?

What if the meaning of life was to die?

What if the meaning of death was to live?

The purpose of a question is to receive an answer.

The purpose of an answer is to understand the question.

What if there is no one to ask a question?

What if there is no one to answer?

Conformity

Conformity, by definition, means to alter your appearance, personality and/or behaviour to put yourself forth as the modicum of societal compliance, whether it be in regards to rules, standards, beliefs or laws.

Nonconformity is, by definition, the complete opposite of the above statement. Whereby a nonconformist goes out of their way to not comply with any of society's rules, standards, beliefs or laws.

Yet, as a society, we have reached a point in our development that being a nonconformist is to conform to the stereotype of the young generations. We have reached a point where rebelling against society is considered normal and justified.

So, if we accept that by being nonconformist you are conforming as true, then wouldn't by being a conformist make you nonconformist? How confused and twisted must our society be to take words and then make them mean the opposite of what they do but by accepting this the words then change their meaning?

The Used

Went to a concert of one of the best bands ever to walk the face of this earth, "The Used". They played like 3 or 4 songs off their new album (Artwork) and then played many of their old songs which everyone loved and screamed at the top of their lungs.

They were supported by Stealing O'Neal who are absolutely fucking awesome. I wish they were selling posters there as I would have bought one from each band at the least. Instead I just had to be faithful and stick with my current shirt that I bought from America.

Anyway, the mosh pit was amazing, including the time when Bert told us to make an invisible line through the middle and then when they exploded to charge at each other like "fucking wild animals". Aside from that, protecting two of my friends from being crushed and also protecting my injured groin provided to be more fun that anticipated and didn't draw away from the experience at all.

If you don't have any music by Stealing O'Neal or The Used download some right now!

Become The Bull

Come on!

Grab the bull by the horns the old addage goes.

Nobody tells you where to go from here.

I see whats greatful in you.

Decisions have to be made.

The worse path is the hardest earned.

Back and forth the struggle consumes us all.

Trying to keep a level head.

In the most unsettling of times.

Today I'll become the bull. (Become the bull!)

There is so much at stake.

I'll stumble I'll loose my place.

Crowded in while surrounded by sin.

Destiny takes its hold.

Find it or let it go.

But I choose how it ends we'll end.

G-G-G-Go!

Back and forth the struggle consumes us all.

Trying to keep a level head.

In the most unsettling of times.

Today I'll become the bull. (Become the bull!)

Today I'll become the bull.

This small heart can get lonely.

I lose myself inside myself.

No one can touch you when you're outside staring in.

Remove myself from this pride race.

Back and forth the struggle consumes us all.

Trying to keep a level head.

In the most unsettling of times.

Today I'll become the bull. (Become the bull!)

Today I'll become the bull.

Today I'll become the bull. (Become the bull!)

Today I'll become the bull.

Today I'll become the bull.

Carpe Diem

Don't take life to seriously, you'll never make it out alive.

Life should be fun, life should be lived to the full. Carpe Diem - Seize The Day.

Learn all you can, be all you can. For those who loose motivation remember that tomorrow's a new day and a new night and with the new day comes new hope, new energy and new life. As well as new dreams, feelings and thoughts. Don't succumb to negativity. Don't act upon negativity. Listen to you heart when it calls to you. Let loose your imagination on the world and you'll find that the world isn't such a bad place when you have steadfast friends.

What I Dream

I dream of past dreams. Stuck in a recurring loop of incoherent thought and feeling. Experiences and imaginings thrown together and held in place by something that cannot be described.

Ideas regurgitated as half formed realities inside my head. The landscape of my dream thrown upside down, poured forth from the darkest depths of my subconscious into my mind's eye in a form of self torture known only to myself. Forcing myself to relive the worst moments of my life over and over again in the vain hope that I finally come to terms with those occurrences and learn from them. Only to have the progress made forgotten upon my awakening and to be relived throughout the next night in an unforgiving cycle of torment and unremembered pain.

Well that's enough of random thoughts for one night.

"They say that I must learn to kill before I can feel safe, but I, I'd rather kill myself than turn into their slave."

Boredom

That feeling of suffocation, the feeling of helplessness and the feeling of time passing you by slowly whilst you have no control over your actions.

To help you understand me, as much as anyone can, to rid myself of boredom sometimes I read, or listen to music or muck around with ideas in my head using Photoshop CS3.

So in the vain hope that they might help you here's what I'm doing right now:

Reading: The Nightingale Floor By Lian Hearn

Music: In The Shadows By The Rasmus

Photoshop: What We All Hide Inside

Fly Off The Page

That's all for now, hopefully your boredom has been momentarily alleviated.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

Just Exactly Who Am I?

The question is one that can be difficult to answer, especially when you ask yourself and all you receive back is a blank stare.

My name is Josh White, simple and easy to remember. I'm 16, youthful with many years of experience that lay before me. These words, to some, might help them to understand who I am. But they mean next to nothing to me. How can who I am be defined by two words and a single number? This is what I don't understand.

People are the sum of their memories, experiences and friends, yet our society feels that they can represent all of this information by using two words given to us by strangers at our birth.

To be honest, I don't know who I am. I know who I was but not who I will be. I, like everyone else, will eventually change. I, like everyone else, don't know the future. I, unlike everyone else, am Josh White. Other people might call these two words their own, but to me they are mine.

To you, these words mean nothing. However, soon, you shall know me. But remember, knowing does in no way lead to understanding.

"Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice."